4 Reasons Why Therapy Is Not Working
Some people who have been to therapy have had wonderful experiences and will let everyone know about how much it has helped them. There is no shortage of talking about therapy and mental health issues in this day and age. But what about the people who have not had success with therapy? Why would it work for some and not for others?
While the answer may seem pretty straight forward, here are four main reasons I think therapy may not be working for someone.
1. FREQUENCY
Just like eating one salad or going to the gym once won’t fix your health issues, going to therapy a couple of times may not be as effective. While I do believe that someone can get some benefit from therapy in just a couple of sessions, it may take many sessions to integrate the changes the individual is seeking.
An effective therapist will not only be able to identify the presenting problem the client is coming in for, but can also uncover deeper issues that are driving the presenting problem. However, if the client is not ready to address the deeper issue right away, more sessions may be needed. Staying consistent with therapy, whether it is for a short duration or a longer duration, will likely give individuals the most benefit from therapy in the long run.
2. READINESS
As implied in the first reason therapy might not be working, an individual may not be ready for therapy. Talking to someone you don’t know requires some level of vulnerability. We all develop coping and defense mechanisms that protect us from feeling vulnerable. You could start therapy, however, you might consciously or unconsciously avoid certain topics or stop returning to therapy all together. Which leads to the next reason why therapy might not be working.
3. NOT A GOOD FIT
Finding a therapist can be difficult if you don’t know what to look for. We tend to use a lot of acronyms for the work we do i.e. LPC, LCSW, CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, etc; and our licenses and training might be unfamiliar to someone who has never looked into the various degrees and certifications. Choosing a therapist might be based on a few keywords in their profiles, from a friend’s referral, or a quick Google search. However, it is not until you start therapy will you know if they are a good fit.
You bring your experiences with you to therapy and sometimes those experiences may be triggered by something the therapist said, did, or looked like. This can be worked on in therapy, but for some, it may be a barrier to the work that is done in therapy. Moreover, you may not feel like the therapist understands you and not connecting with the work you are doing. The therapist might be moving faster or slower than you would like. Perhaps, there are too many differences between you and the therapist and you prefer to work with someone with similar experiences or lifestyles.
Finding someone you feel is a good fit will most definitely improve the effectiveness of therapy you are doing.
4. SECONDARY GAIN
This may be a controversial reason why therapy is not working because it is not always an obvious reason, and we want to give everyone a benefit of the doubt. Secondary gain is when someone is not improving because staying unwell has a secondary benefit. An example of this might be someone who is lonely or isolated, and enjoys working with their therapist; but improving means the end of the therapeutic relationship which is meeting a need for connection. This may or may not be a conscious decision by the client, but secondary gain is something that could be why therapy appears to not be working. An effective therapist would likely be able to address this directly if they notice this pattern of limited improvement. Again, not something that can necessarily be proven as a reason therapy is not working, but could potentially be something to rule out.
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If you have been unhappy with your experience in therapy so far, it could be due to one of these four reasons. Finding someone you can trust is important. Hopefully, the person you want to work with has a useful website, has availability, and can meet the needs you are looking for.
I encourage anyone looking for a therapist to look into the person they want to work with i.e. their trainings and experience. Consider if you are ready to commit to the process which may take more than a few sessions. Be willing to work with someone new if you haven’t seen adequate progress, and be willing to reflect on the possibility of secondary gain preventing you from seeing improvements.
If you are in Alaska, and you wish to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to find out if I am a good fit for you, click “book appointment” at the top of this page.